Grandma

My grandma passed away on Saturday, May 15, 2010. I got a phone call on Friday from my mom. She told me that Grandma wasn't doing very well. They took her off all of her medication and gave her some morphine to keep her comfortable. My parents were supposed to come and watch me finish my leg of the race on Saturday morning. I knew exactly where they were going to be, and when I didn't see them, I knew what had happened. Travis and the kids were at my finishing point, and I was so grateful to see their faces. Honestly, my grandma is the main reason I started running in the first place. Running is something that I had always wanted to do, but never dared to try. I'll never forget a conversation I had with her. She told me that she had always wanted to play the piano, but never had the opportunity to learn. She told me to never have regrets in my life. If there was something that I wanted to do, I needed to do it. I ran my first 5K shortly afterwards.

It's interesting. We have known that this day was coming for a long time now. Every Christmas and birthday, we prepared ourselves that this might be the last Christmas or birthday for grandma. This went on for 10 years, maybe more, but somehow, she kept making it to the next year. No matter how prepared you think you are, it's never easy. In fact, this is the saddest I have been in my entire life. My heart is breaking. I know that she is happy and in a better place. I know that she isn't hurting anymore. But I am going to miss her immensely. Travis asked me what I would miss the most. All I could say was "everything." Really. Everything. I miss her fingernails. They were always so perfectly manicured and shiny. I loved to rub them because they felt so smooth. I loved it when she would tickle my arm or my face with them. I miss the ham and cheese omelettes and hot chocolate she used to make us. I miss the warm chocolate pudding with whipping cream. I miss bubble baths and fluffy towels. I miss the Snicker's bars that she would cut into little chunks for me, Ty and Cari to share. I miss faking sick so I could go to her house. She would make us a bed on the couch, surrounded by chairs so we wouldn't fall off, and let us watch Sesame Street all day. I miss baking cookies in the oven downstairs, because it was too hot upstairs. I miss bouncing a ball off of the roof of the garage and swimming in the irrigation water. No one has ever made me feel more loved or important as she did. She always had time for us. When we were there, we had 100% of her attention. There are so many memories and things that remind me of her. The smell of Zest soap, Jergens lotion and crest toothpaste, just to name a few.

My kids loved her as well. I know they won't remember much, but I hope to help them remember what a great lady she was and how much she loved them.

My grandma is my hero. She was such a great example to me. She has taught me many things over my lifetime. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had to call her my grandma. She makes me want to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend. I love you grandma. Thank you for all that you have done for me. You will never be forgotten.